My guess is that if you’re reading this, you’re a Disney fan or a newbie looking for details to enhance your trip. Or you’re really just fond of Tim and Bob, Bob and Tim. (Who isn’t, right?)

My article today is a light-hearted look at how you can enhance your visit to the Parks with the observance of some simple etiquette.

  1. The U.S.A. is a right-handed society. We move forward in the right lane. The same applies to traversing the Parks. I have seen more collisions in the Parks than I sometimes see in a football game. Walk to the right and keep your eyes forward. I’m not going to lie to you all, I have played the role of Karl Malone setting a pick on more than one oblivious guest.
  2. Those without strollers. If you’ve never pushed a double stroller, you won’t understand. Even the nicest ones handle more like a dump truck than a Porsche. Going back to bullet point 1, don’t make guests with strollers try to maneuver around you like their stroller has the capabilities of the Batmobile. Quite frankly, when my kids were stroller aged, I treated our stroller like a locomotive with a cow catcher on the front. You make every effort to avoid collisions, but it’s a lot easier for the guest sans stroller to move out-of-the-way.
  3. For those with strollers. Be aware of the path in front of you. And in full transparency, I was guilty of this on more than one occasion and apologized profusely…for running up on people. I often misjudged the distance of those in front of me and surely caused a few lacerations, bruises, etc. on guests’ calves. The braking distance on a fully loaded double stroller is apparently only slightly better than an 18-wheeler. Apologies to those whom I’ve potentially maimed and forced to use a scooter on their trip. Great segue, Brett…
  4. Guests without scooters (ECVs). I see so many people eye-rolling and hear overly vocal sighs when someone with a scooter arrives at the bus stop. Be mindful, the folks with ECVs would probably prefer to walk if able. Yes, it takes longer for them to get loaded and the bus to move. Count your blessings that you don’t require a scooter.
  5. Guests with scooters. You have a responsibility, too. If you don’t normally use an ECV at home, please don’t use the Parks as your trial run. Take a test drive at your local supermarket.
  6. No running. I’ve witnessed some sedentary folks turn into Usain Bolt when Space Mountain comes into their line of sight. Slow down. The attractions, Turkey legs and Dole Whips will still be there. Although the Churros may not. It might be acceptable to run for those.
  7. Single line versus a skirmish line. There’s nothing worse than trying to get around a group walking 6 people wide. It’s fine to walk that way but understand your environment. A busy and congested Park is NOT the place. C’mon, people, there are FastPass+ windows. Don’t make people late because you are walking in a horizontal line that spans from Peter Pan’s Flight to It’s a Small World.
  8. Children on shoulders. Mind you, this is fine depending on where you are, but we’ve all seen adults hoist kids onto their shoulders and then other people and kids can’t see. For fireworks, we’re all looking to the sky. No need to put a kid on your shoulders. If you really feel the need to do it or just want to, move to the back where you won’t impact others. And it never hurts to asks guests around you if they mind.
  9. Hygiene:
    1. Please people, just wash you and your children’s hands!
    2. Use it early and often. It’s Florida. It’s hot, it’s humid. You stink. And your kids that are hitting puberty in stride…they stink, too. Don’t take it personally. However, do keep deodorant with you in your park bag. Yes, everyone should have a Park bag!
  10. Line cutting. You really think I’m crazy enough to talk about this?
  11. Disney buses. If you are an able-bodied male over the age of about 13, make sure that every woman and child has a seat before you take one. This isn’t a political statement against gender equality, just old school chivalry. So, step off Beyoncé and Kelly Clarkson! (If you didn’t know, they are avid fans of…okay I’m banking on no one fact checking that.)
  12. Ordering meals at quick service restaurants. How many times have you seen people standing in line and then they get to the cashier, and they have no idea what to get? *sigh* Most restaurants have menus readily available to view while standing in line. I’m personally blind as a bat and often can’t see the menu from far away. This is where the portable menus are very helpful.
  13. Be. Courteous. Say please, thank you, excuse me and I’m sorry. More than likely, if someone bumps into you or appears to do something as if they have a personal vendetta against you, it’s probably not the case. It’s very easy to disarm someone’s misplaced anger by apologizing.
  14. Don’t take the author of this blog post too seriously. Although he is astonishingly knowledgeable about all things Disney World (and quite handsome), he’s just writing for fun.

Brett C. Williams